This post could go one of two ways. You, the Reader, could declare that I’m a wack job with some serious self esteem issues and what kind of meds am I on, by the way? OR you could identify with me, at least as far as being a writer is concerned. For humilities sake, I’ll go ahead and admit the first and will leave the latter up to you. (Lexapro, by the way, and I think that the stuff should be put in drinking water.)
I’ll be honest; when Amy asked me to be a guest blogger on her site I did a quick double take. Who, me? A writer? For my part, I had literally only a half hour earlier allowed myself the actual title while in a mid-afternoon chocolate induced epiphany. After working for nearly two years as a freelance writer, I hadn’t officially allowed myself the title, rather I loudly called out the lack of work I saw as editorials, copywriting jobs and blog followers trickled in slowly. And, while that certainly didn’t assist in bolstering my self esteem, it wasn’t the bulk of the problem.
I had never seen myself as a writer and instead saw a would-be, constantly working on becoming one. I saw what I hadn’t written and I didn’t let myself off the hook easily for the thousands of ideas and starts shoved back into the metal lockers of my mind, banging to get out. I had come to call the unwritten my Highbrow Folios, understanding that my half-loved stories, detailed memories and heart-felt feelings were to be locked away in the far reaches of my brain. For years, I filed these tragedies away under “I should write about this someday”, probably understanding in my sub-conscious that it was unlikely that I would actually do so. And just as I’m ready to squeeze one drop of best seller out of my brain, I stall.
I suppose I could call all of my stalling laziness. And, I would love to consider this whole thing writer’s block. I mean, who doesn’t love a good scapegoat? But, I guess we all have to learn it sometime, although I’ve never been one to love the salty taste of humility. The bottom line is still this: I’m never going to BE a writer until I BELIEVE I’m a writer. And then it’s time to get on it, already!
In my humble opinion, you are what you say you are and you accomplish what you decide to accomplish. If you’re a writer then, dammit, WRITE! So. I am a writer. I write. I love to write. And now I’m going to get my self-confidence on and jump out of this cake, baby!
Are you?
Thanks, Amy, for inviting me here! I think this was just the kick in the pants I needed! See you on the Best Seller’s List!
