Dec
02
Go Ahead, Get Your Hopes Up!
Amy

“Don’t get your hopes up!” seems to be a common caution. I keep seeing on blogs, twitter and in books about writing to “Keep Trying” or “Never, Never, Never give up” and “Plan on a million rejections but keep going” right along with “Don’t get your hopes up”. Um, isn’t that contradictory? How does one keep going without the hope of success?

For example: when my man and I put in our offer on our house (we are now living in it – that’s not the “why”) the first thing everyone seemed to say was “Don’t get your hopes up!” If you have read my blog then you know my first question about everything is similar to that of a small child; WHY? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the excitement of daydreaming? Why shouldn’t I get my hopes up? WHY? It seems there are loads of reasons. However, when listed out, they can all be, more or less, summed up in one sentence:

Whatever you are hoping for won’t happen, leaving you a ruined shell of a human…FOREVER!

Hmm. It seems to me that I lived and breathed before I submitted my novel into my first competition, I certainly had motivation before I started auditioning for films/plays, I know that I got out of bed every morning before I pitched my first screenplay. So, WHY shouldn’t I enjoy the foreplay :) of waiting to see if I get the gig, house, or whatever it is I am hoping for? WHY?

In my humble opinion, if we can remember that life existed (and still will) if we don’t achieve every ambition we set out for on our first, second, or hundredth try then we will be happier for the anticipation – and prepared for the possibility – that things won’t always go our way. I suppose this is what is meant when people say “Hope for the best, plan for the worst and take what comes”. That phrase never really set in on me until we made that offer on our home, and now I see how it applies to everything!

To my mind, telling someone not to get their hopes up is the same as telling them not to enjoy their holiday. After all, you will have to go back to work once you get back. ;)

Put things into perspective, and then hope your heart out that things will go your way! I suspect you will be happier for it. Go ahead, get your hopes up!

When have you gone against the grain and hoped secretly for something? Did it work out? Did you survive (hint: if you are reading this you did)?

As always, thanks for reading.

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  • As always a great post. Just the timing kinda sucks this time around.

    Lost a job that I didn't even have. Slept well after working like a dog into late last night to polish my resume. Got it down from 4 to 6 pages of relevant experience only.

    Did I dream about this job? You betcha. Did I imagine the interview? The agreement? The small relocation for a few months? Boy howdy. Was I looking forward to this job? You don't know how much.

    The job posting was written for me. Seriously, I have never read a job posting that literally described everything I have ever done and then some. And for a few, very scant hours, I was excited about finally bringing in a steady income doing what I do best.

    Then this morning I clicked on their site to submit said resume to realize the job board hadn't removed the job, but the company web site had. Poof! Up in smoke.

    So much for the hope. But at least I got a good night sleep, had a few good daydreams before the bubble was burst. Sign. Guess I need to go mope over some much over due coffee.

    Call me a naive, but my hopes are very rarely tinged with doubt, that is until reality smacks me in the face. Though I think this is the roughest year on my dreams than any other I can remember.

    Good luck and keep dreaming for that's the only way thing change for the better.
  • Oh Cindy!! I am very sorry to hear that. I am thrilled you got a great nights sleep, but how lame. Can you find the company through the job board that posted it? Perhaps their site is having issues?

    "Call me a naive, but my hopes are very rarely tinged with doubt, that is until reality smacks me in the face. Though I think this is the roughest year on my dreams than any other I can remember"

    I don't find that naive, rather, it is one of the things I love about you!

    Good luck on the job hunt!
    XoXo
  • NeilB
    I'm with you here. A bit ago I got involved in a project - the first thing ever. It was potentially amazing for me and only a couple of months after a decided to be a writer. All went swimingly for about 9 months. Then, in the space of 2 weeks, it all fell apart (in hindsight, there were clear hints at what was going to happen. December 2009 me would have spotted them and got the hell out! But alas 2008 me was too inexperienced).

    I was crushed and more angry than I've ever been. But I got over it. From that day, i decided never to get my hopes up. But now I see it more as a "stay grounded" way of thinking.

    I love the excitement of a possibility. I love the chase of the dream. The thought of a great development is what keeps me going - without that, there'd be no point in *trying*, only *succeeding*.

    And as always - we learn from those experiences. I don't regret what happened with that project last year - I met some great people and came away a better person because of it.

    So I'd say - "Don't get your hopes up. But do sit and bask in the possibility that something great is going to happen. Enjoy the chase!"

    Cool post!
  • As always, you add great insight to my thoughts. Mucho thanks for sharing you experience. I think it's a big help to writers when we can learn from each other. I'm glad you liked the post, keep chasing!

    XoXo
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