Seriously. Screenwriters, stop getting all indignant that the producer is telling you that the Director really needs a giraffe in your Western. Just go for it. One of two things will happen. It will be total and complete shit and said producer will ask you what the hell you were thinking at your next meeting (yes, it will be your fault) OR it will be awesome and you will surprise yourself with your artistic depth.

When you are writing a screenplay you HAVE to meet the needs of a TON of people. I like to take notes and write next to them ‘PASS’ where only I can see it (how I stay sane in development meetings). All the while I nod and smile. I listen closely and keep my yapp shut and learn that the Director doesn’t really want a giraffe… she wants a symbol that represents the unusual and or exotic in that scene. So that is what I write.

Typically you can come up with what meets their needs and stays true to the story while being SALEABLE (important). If they ask for the same thing (giraffe) again (and I mean they won’t shut up about it) at the next meeting then I write it. I go out of my way to make it fit and kick ass. Look, I’m not doing it so they can see how bad I suck. My point is either it will work or not. That is up to you… and to an extent how insane the request is.

If you are going to ‘argue’ your point (“So… not a lot of giraffes in the wild west…”) then please pick your battles. Be polite. Be brief. Use logic. Have trade specific information to back you up. Don’t be the emotional writer who for ‘artistic reasons’ can’t do whatever it is. That will make you the very starving (while very artistic) writer. So really, don’t ‘argue’ your point. I like to say “I have a question about one of your notes.” Then just ask for clarity on a certain point. That way you can read between the lines and see what it is they really are asking for.

Ah, but Amy, I write for independent films! This doesn’t apply to me. Zip it writer person, yes it does. If you want to make it as a screenwriter you need to be able to meet the needs of everyone on the team. You will get the least credit in the end and the most satisfaction (ok I just wrote that last part to make you feel good). You can still be artistic and write films that meet the needs of the production team. You just have to work damn hard at it, in my humble opinion.

That said, if they want a giraffe in the western and it’s not a spoof… and they like it… and you like it… start or stop drinking a.s.a.p.