I have been told that this blog post has hurt some feelings. That was not my intention. I’m genuinely sorry to anyone I hurt or made uncomfortable, regardless of if we are friends, acquaintances, or total strangers. Thank you for the feedback letting me know this was upsetting.
Again, my strongest apologies.
That said, the reason most of my readers come to my blog is for the raw emotion of my real life stories. I try not to hold back, but I also try not to put anyone in the spotlight.
So, when I took the post down…I got complaints! lol.
To that end I have edited the post a bit since this morning in hopes of a compramise. This week’s blog is all about going from wallowing in your missery to getting back up again and moving forward! Let’s do this!
It’s a new week! Monday’s are honestly one of my favorite days. I know you are aware of my medical situation but did you know I’ve had some personal drama too? I’m not going to get into details (like names, addresses, and the best places to buy kerosine) but let’s dish!
First I should warn you that this is the sort of tale that makes you want to abandon your belongings, leave your car in a Taco Bell parking lot, and live under a bridge like a troll.
Of course, then you would realize that you are only 5’3″ and could never make it as a Bridge Troll! Great! Another failure in your life!! *ahem* moving on.
I’ve had a bestie for many years. It was love at first sight! You get what I’m saying. We do EVERYTHING together.
A few weeks ago I saw some e-mails between her and a friend that I was not supposed to be looking at (but in my defense…I was curious…ya I know). It turned out to be a year’s worth of correspondence from my bestie saying how petty, lazy, useless, selfish, -you get the idea- I am. There was even a section from when I went through IVF trying to get pregnant saying I would be the worst mom in the world and shouldn’t even be allowed to have kids!! OUCH!!
Needless to say, I was not expecting this. I felt like Ceasar if the whole world had stabbed him in the back at once.
I chatted briefly with the friend who’s messages I had read. I have a tendancy to tell on myself and I mean, there was a distinct lack of her defending me. Then 20 minutes later I get a text from my “BFF” who managed to make it all about her.
I mean it was almost impressive the way she turned her betrayal into how sensitive she is and no one understands how hard things are for her. Were it an Olympic sport she would surely have taken the gold (and stolen the others).
I cut my losses and just told her to stay away from me. If I couldn’t tell when we were tight that she was lying to my face, what are the odds I would have the gift now?
So, there is the incredibly short version. I’ve been crying and having panic attacks most of the time since then. I even had to see my shrink because of how much clonazapam I’ve been taking.
However, last night, I saw a picture of my beloved Princess Poppy (from the movie Trolls) and thought of her singing:
“HEY! I’m not giving up today!
There’s nothing getting in my way!
And if you knock, knock me over,
I will get back up again!“
I thought, “Thanks, Poppy! That’s much better advice than being a Bridge Troll!”
Have you had a demon of some sort that you just had to let go of and move on? I would love to hear about it below! Meet me in the comments section!