As I am sure you know by now it’s been a rough…everything! LOL! But I am still putting one foot in front of the other. I have new meds for nighttime to help me actually sleep. For a change they are actually working, which is great. I’ve been doing my videos every Monday because it’s about all I have been able to make myself do since the flashback. I’ve been intensely sad and mostly in bed feeling tragic since then. As always, however, I am rallying. I think it’s important to note that in life we don’t rally just once. It can be a daily effort, an hourly effort, a minute to minute effort, and so forth. It’s an important part of putting one foot in front of the other (which in itself is a lifelong journey!).
I’m struggling with body image issues and (naturally) doing a lot of emotional eating since “The Incident”! In order to combat that I am going to make an active goal of eating healthier, getting some exercise, and actually going out of my apartment and visiting people, and finally opening my blinds to let some sun in the whole house each day. These are some pretty basic things, but if you at a serious low, like I am, then they are a great place to start. Along with drinking more water!
I think the YouTube thing is a good creative outlet for me. It also lets me work on one of my biggest anxieties. I am TERRIFIED of having a schedule. I’m being totally serious. The horrible people who took me as a kid would seriously tell me what time and day they would be back for me and where I was to meet them! How messed up is that?! This is actually the main reason I am on disability. I have panic attacks when I get a schedule. Serious panic attacks. I’m working on that in therapy as well as at home. This is where the YouTube channel comes in! I am giving myself a schedule, but I can make the video a week early or at any time I want. I do post a new video every Monday but that is my way of tricking my subconscious into getting used to a schedule in a laid back way. I don’t want to be on disability forever!
Do you have any tricks you use to get around stressful moments in your life? It doesn’t have to be something traumatic, just a creative way to deal with life. I would really love to hear from you in the comments section!! Thanks for sticking with me! Your support means more to me than you can know!!
See you here next Monday! (If you would like to see this weeks video on journaling CLICK HERE!!)